What is your take on this ..

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I recently had a discussion with a friend about financial support for parents. I’ve been helping my family financially ever since I started working, and this month I wasn’t able to send money to my mom, which made me feel bad. My friend argued that while parents have a responsibility to raise and educate their children, it’s not the children’s obligation to support them financially. She believes that financial support should be a choice, not an obligation. However, coming from India, where it’s common to help and support family, I find it hard to agree with her perspective. I feel a strong sense of duty towards my parents due to their sacrifices for me. What are your thoughts on this? Is financial support to parents a choice or an obligation in your view?

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15 responses to “What is your take on this ..”

  1. Your parents will always say that they don’t want any money from you even when they will be having nothing with them. So it’s better to support them as much as possible for you. If it’s not possible for any month then that’s completely fine.
    I don’t think it’s difficult for anyone of us to at least give some amount of savings for our parents and usually parents do save the excess money which we provide them i.e. they won’t waste the money. So, incase you are not able to provide them buy them meds or their other essential items. For example – Meds these days are too expensive so buying it for them reduces some kind of burden on their pockets too.

  2. Bhai pesa de ya na de, time zaroor dena. Jitna ho sake.. Or pese nhi bhi bhej raha to atleast unke ghr ke thode kharche like bills and recharges kar diya kar..But sabse zaroori he time bitana

  3. This is one of those situations where one answer doesn’t fit all boxes ,

    -It all comes down to smart retirement planning from your parents if they have a income stream by pension or even rental income I think it’s fine to not send them money

    -If not then send it

    -Also if you live with them then do provide money for household management

    Start your own retirement planning and Ask yourself what you want when you have kids would you want his/her money

  4. It depends. If your parents are financially incapable of managing expenses due to old age, you must help. However if your parents are careless , extravagant or living above their means ( there are parents with addictions or who want to give money to relatives etc) and you are struggling yourself, you can draw a line. Just like how your dad would’ve said we cannot afford this when you were little .

  5. IMO – It’s parents’ responsibility to take care of their own expenses. But kids should support their parents when necessary (as parents would/should support their kids if necessary). “The strong sense of duty” that you refer to is culturally cultivated. And so is the right to inherit parents’ wealth exercised by kids. But again, it’s more of a culturally cultivated duty/sense of ownership and cannot be forced upon an individual.

    I have seen parents who would not pass on the property they inherited from their ancestors to their kids saying it’s their choice, whereas my family has a strong belief of passing on more if not the same (equivalent) amount of wealth you inherit.

  6. It’s called financial planning, your parents shouldn’t be needing money if they planned well( I’m assuming the middle class family ). If you are left with some extra money after your expenses+ investments you can help but don’t do it blindly and ask for specific reasons otherwise it’s simply a human ATM.

  7. Do they need money or you send for being a good son ?

  8. She can think this only if she has a brother who is supporting or will e supporting the family. What parents did for us is not enough to pay back but it’s a must do for us. Boys we have to do it now matter if we are a younger child or the elder.

  9. Its a difference in culture. Most of the asian countries have a mindset that when they grow up they will take care of their parents and expect the same from their kids in the future

  10. I think you need to make sure parents have necessary roti, kapda, makaan and healthcare

  11. Based on my parents’ and in laws’ situation, I think it is definitely not an obligation.

    We don’t feel obliged to send money every month. We keep a reserved fund just in case they need something for emergency. We ask them periodically if they need any help. They have their own retirement funds that they are enjoying. They have no debts. They have made it clear that they do not need any financial help from us and that we should not worry about them.

    We instead put that money towards building our own life. We are a young family, and having our own house is our priority. So we divert our funds there.

    I agree with your friend. Providing you education and basic facilities was their responsibility, not a sacrifice or adjustment. You don’t have to provide financial help because they gave you basic necessities. You can by choice, but not by obligation.

  12. There’s a moral , karmic, biological obligation bro

  13. It is not an obligation according to me. Having said that, I personally feel that we SHOULD in fact support our parents financially. This cannot be a simple yes or no answer. It has a lot of external variables into picture. Are you , yourself financially able to survive? Do you really love your parents a lot? Do you want to support them BECAUSE its morally correct, would you have supported otherwise?!

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